The click of the lightswitch, and Matt blinked as the room around him disappeared into shadow, nibbling absently at his cigarette. He glanced up at the sound of shifting leather, reaching up to remove his goggles in order to better make out the blond hovering just beyond the glow of his laptop.

"Mel...?" he murmured uncertainly, feeling gloved fingers slip into his hair before he got the chance, gently easing the goggles back over his head and off.

Mello made no reply, his fingers lingering buried in crimson locks as he gracefully sunk to his knees on the couch, straddling the younger man's hips as he continued to trace absent circles against Matt's scalp.

Matt's breathing hitched as Mello's hands slid slowly down to cup the back of his head. Cerulean eyes fluttered shut as a warm sigh ghosted over his cheeks, followed by the barest breath of a kiss on each eyelid. He went very still, not daring to break the silence, hardly daring to trace his own fingers up leather-clad thighs and search out the blond's hips as soft kisses continued to rain down across his face.

He swallowed, feeling Mello's fingers clench desperately in the hair at the nape of his neck... the wet warmth trickling down trembling lips to trace the contours of his own cheeks. He stayed still, eyes closed as he listened attentively to his friend's silent confessions.

"I love you..." whispered a tender kiss to his temple. "I'm not strong enough," the shuddering hitch of a breath murmured against his chin. "I'm sorry."

He clenched his eyes tightly, barely restraining himself from turning just slightly and ending it--digging his nails into bony hips and snapping the blond out of it... knocking the other man violently from his lap before meeting the resulting furious attack head on and stumbling down the hall to the bedroom, all gentleness and tears forgotten in a frenzy of biting and ripping and red-hot, merciless passion.

He did not know this person, did not recognize the cautious, tender touch. The fragile man collapsed so helplessly on his lap was a stranger. And it scared him.

He stayed still.

Mello's mouth shuddered to a halt at his hairline, lips drawing back in an agonized grimace as another silent sob racked their bodies. Matt slid his hands up his friend's hips to rest warm and comforting against the cool skin of a slim waist.

"I love you, too." A gentle kiss to the hollow of the blond's throat. "I forgive you."

Riiiiiiiight. So, this is the first of many Death Note crack drabbles that have spawned from an attempt at an actual chapter fanfiction. I think what I find most amusing about it is how drastically different the style is from my normal... how shall I eloquently put this...? LOOOOOONG ass descriptions. -.-; Anyhoo. lol. It makes no sense. Don't expect any.


Sigh. “Hello, this is Mello’s answering service, because Mello is too much of a lazy ass to pick up his own phone. Wha--”
“I’m bedridden, bitch! You’re the one who fuckin’ told me not to strain myself!”
“I don’t think that the word “strain” encompasses flipping a phone open and holding it to your ear, you flippin’ dipshit! It‘s your own fault you exploded yourself anyway, you god forsaken Mafia whore!”
“…I WILL KEEHL YOU!”
“Shut the hell up, your puns are crap, you melodramatic fucktard!”
Inappropriate hand gesture.
Groan. “Sorry. How can I direct your call?”
“…Matt?”
Twitch. “Near.” Seethe.
“Right.”
Fume. “What the hell do  you want, you freakish gnome-like albino?”  Bristle.
“…Eloquent today, aren’t we?”
Simmer. “The point of your call, you Gundam-eating L wannabe?” Rage.
Cold fury. “Tell your beloved Mello to call me when he has recovered from… what was it? Exploding himself…?” Smolder.
Ire. “…I will Keehl you.” Self-righteous satisfaction.
Click.
Inquisitive. “Who was it?”
Snarl. “Why the fuck is his number not listed? If you can’t see the damned number, you can’t know not to pick up!”
Shriek of dismay. “Who, Kira?! Matt, I’m gonna die! Damnit, go have yourself dipped in chocolate right now! It’s my last fucking wish!”
Huff, eye roll. Stalk, smack. “The hell is wrong with you, you disgustingly flat-chested woman!?”
Puppy eyes. Pout. “…Why must you hurt me in this way, Mail?” Tears.
Totally taken in. “I… oh. Uh.” Whimper. “I’m sorry… I guess…. I …cuddle!”
Mello Fist + Matt knee = Matt pain.
“GAH!” Floored. “I cuddled you in your time of need…! You… stupid… blond… leather-wearing… pretty… thing.” Scowl. Blush.
Aloof. “You’re so predictable, Matt. I whimper, you cuddle, I win.” Smirk. “Now, who was on the phone?”
“Take a look yourself.” Chuck.
Distracted catch. “…eh?” Glance. “Oh, that’s Neeeeeeeeeea…” o.O
Glare of DOOOOOOOOOOOM.
Recoil in fear. “Noooooooo one I know.” >_> “Damned unsolicited phone calls at…” Squint. “2:02 in the morning! What were they selling? Sporks? You didn’t buy any did you? I know about your obsession with sporks, Matt, don’t try to deny it.”
“…How did you kno--damnit, off subject!” Migraine. “Why the hell do you know Near’s number by heart?”
“I… don’t?” Sneaky dialing.
-.-;
“Mello.”
“Damnit, Near. I told you never to call me at this number. This phone is strictly for the chocolate delivery guy,  my third cousin twice-removed on his mother‘s side, and Matt.”
“Well, I had something to discuss with you about this killer notebook thing--”
Matt!snatch.
Mello!twitch.
“Near?”
Near!spasm. “Yes, Matt?”
“Have you spawned, yet?”
SPK!le gasp.
Choke. Stutter. “What!? I’m only seventeen, you zebra-striped, bug-eyed, PMSing-drag queen chaser!”
SPK!le gasp.
PMSing-drag queen!twitch.
Unimpressed. “Well, lemme know when you do, ‘kay? I desire to kill the first of your offspring.” Diabolical. Lightning/thunder special effects.
O.O
SPK!le gasp.
…<3 “Matt. Stop talking to the cannibalistic robot. And come here.” Oh-so-horny.
Glare. “I’m not done, MelloooooooooooooooooooooooOh.” Gulp.
Tackle.
Gag. “Please refrain from--” Grimace.
Thud. Gasp.
“OW! MellOHHHH! God, don’t touch me there when I‘m on the phone!”
Muffled thump. Snatch. Ahem. “Near, um.” Shove shove. “Something seems to have-- GEH! Matt! We talked about the licking! --Erm. Something’s come up. I’ll…” Click.
SPK!O.O
Scarred for life.